Today has finally arrived and I feel like I'm in great shape. Just like any prize fighter before me...Wait! I've done this before. To borrow a phrase from a wise old man, Yogi Berra, "It's déjà vu all over again." What Am I talking about?
I normally take my wonderful wife of 23+ years to see her idol once every 2-3 years. I am good with that because it normally takes me that long to recover. Most of you read my post from about a year ago (I feel like a prize fighter), and understand what I go through to prepare myself for such an event.
Now, only a year removed from my last concert and 6 months removed from California, it's just my luck that Bon Jovi would extend that same concert tour and will be performing in San Antonio on St Patty's Day. With tickets in hand, it is like we are getting ready for a shuttle launch. She started the countdown a week ago, and with a little more than day she has also started the car to ensure it is running when we blast off. When I mentioned that it would be cool if we wore green to the concert, she gave me a strange look and asked, "Why? Bon Jovi is Italian not Irish."
That's when I thought, "Houston, we have a problem!"
"Wise Guy"
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
Monday, March 14, 2011
You Had a Golden Ticket
Just like in the Willy Wonka movie, the NFL owners and the players had a golden ticket. The stakes are a lot higher than those of the chocolate factory. Around 10 billion more. The sad part is that you let your golden ticket expired.
After one of the most successful NFL seasons, and the highest rated Super Bowl ever, the owners and the players' associations decided to play a high stakes poker game with revealed cards, then spent a week bluffing each other only to realize they both had nothing. The losers are the fans.
We'll now be held hostage for the next 3 months to a year. We will go through a handful of "almost had a deal" to a number of "we will cancel the season." We will be forced to choose sides. We will be led to feel sorry for million dollar athletes who will be forced to spend a small part of their savings, or borrow against future millions, while the rest of America struggles through a bad economy, high unemployment and gas prices, salary freezes and furlough days. As fans, we pay what's necessary to help support the teams we live or die for, and in so doing, we support the many greedy million and billionaires who make up the NFL.
Yes, just like in the movie when Violet Beauregarde goes down the bad eggs shoot, the same should happen to those running the NFL. The Wise Guy would like you to join him for a boycott of the first regular season game, whenever that may be. Let's show the NFL who really runs the league ... the fans!
"Wise Guy"
After one of the most successful NFL seasons, and the highest rated Super Bowl ever, the owners and the players' associations decided to play a high stakes poker game with revealed cards, then spent a week bluffing each other only to realize they both had nothing. The losers are the fans.
We'll now be held hostage for the next 3 months to a year. We will go through a handful of "almost had a deal" to a number of "we will cancel the season." We will be forced to choose sides. We will be led to feel sorry for million dollar athletes who will be forced to spend a small part of their savings, or borrow against future millions, while the rest of America struggles through a bad economy, high unemployment and gas prices, salary freezes and furlough days. As fans, we pay what's necessary to help support the teams we live or die for, and in so doing, we support the many greedy million and billionaires who make up the NFL.
Yes, just like in the movie when Violet Beauregarde goes down the bad eggs shoot, the same should happen to those running the NFL. The Wise Guy would like you to join him for a boycott of the first regular season game, whenever that may be. Let's show the NFL who really runs the league ... the fans!
"Wise Guy"
Sunday, March 13, 2011
Winning?!?!...Won!
Sorry Charlie, but it's not about winning. How many times have we seen a winning team going into the 4th quarter, 9th inning, or 3rd period only to lose. A boxer dominating a fight only to get knocked out. You either win or lose.
The reason I bring this up is that Jim Tressel, head coach at Ohio State, won. Yes, he won. Let me explain. A few months before the 2010 college football season started Jim was tipped off by a lawyer, who is a former Ohio State Buckeye, that there was a federal investigation of an owner of a tattoo parlor who was known to distribute drugs. The owner was involved with 5 star football players who were selling their personal sports memorabilia for cash, tattoos, and probably other stuff.
Jim had two options. The first was to pass the information to his athletic department, and risk losing the star players, including Terrel Pryor, for a portion of, or maybe, all of the season.
The second option was to say nothing, hope no one found out, or hope that it at least came out after the season was complete. Jim Tressel took the second option. You see, Ohio State was one of the favorites to win the national championship, and their QB, Terrel Pryor, was the favorite to win the Heisman Trophy.
The NCAA found out about the violations committed by the 5 star players right before the Sugar Bowl, and allowed them to play in the bowl game if they promised to come back next year and sit out the first 5 games of the season.
In hindsight, Jim made the smart move. He has to sit out the first 2 games next year and was fined $250,000 for not disclosing this information when he first learned of it. I'm sure there is a booster or two that will help Jim find the money. The first 2 games are Akron and Toledo. My pet goldfish can coach those 2 wins. By the way, Ohio State finished with a 12-1 record and won the Sugar Bowl (BCS Bowl), which earned the Big Ten 6 million dollars. They finished as the fifth best team in the country.
As a new Texan I say to you, "this is not Jim's first rodeo." Just go back 8 years with Maurice Clarret. The star running back received thousands of dollars and was loaned cars by a Buckeye booster. He also was involved in an academic scandal. He only played his freshman year, but led Ohio State to the 2002 National Championship.
My advice to you, if you have or know of a kid who is a superstar football player but nothing higher than a 3rd grade education, I would send him to Ohio State. He will probably come home with a cool tattoo.
My advice to Mike Montgomery. Stop with all the extra phone calls to possible recruits. That got Cal 2 years probation in basketball. If you pay them and fix their grades, you may be allowed to win a national championship. According to Jim Tressel, and not Charlie Sheen, that is when you'll become a winner.
"Wise Guy"
The reason I bring this up is that Jim Tressel, head coach at Ohio State, won. Yes, he won. Let me explain. A few months before the 2010 college football season started Jim was tipped off by a lawyer, who is a former Ohio State Buckeye, that there was a federal investigation of an owner of a tattoo parlor who was known to distribute drugs. The owner was involved with 5 star football players who were selling their personal sports memorabilia for cash, tattoos, and probably other stuff.
Jim had two options. The first was to pass the information to his athletic department, and risk losing the star players, including Terrel Pryor, for a portion of, or maybe, all of the season.
The second option was to say nothing, hope no one found out, or hope that it at least came out after the season was complete. Jim Tressel took the second option. You see, Ohio State was one of the favorites to win the national championship, and their QB, Terrel Pryor, was the favorite to win the Heisman Trophy.
The NCAA found out about the violations committed by the 5 star players right before the Sugar Bowl, and allowed them to play in the bowl game if they promised to come back next year and sit out the first 5 games of the season.
In hindsight, Jim made the smart move. He has to sit out the first 2 games next year and was fined $250,000 for not disclosing this information when he first learned of it. I'm sure there is a booster or two that will help Jim find the money. The first 2 games are Akron and Toledo. My pet goldfish can coach those 2 wins. By the way, Ohio State finished with a 12-1 record and won the Sugar Bowl (BCS Bowl), which earned the Big Ten 6 million dollars. They finished as the fifth best team in the country.
As a new Texan I say to you, "this is not Jim's first rodeo." Just go back 8 years with Maurice Clarret. The star running back received thousands of dollars and was loaned cars by a Buckeye booster. He also was involved in an academic scandal. He only played his freshman year, but led Ohio State to the 2002 National Championship.
My advice to you, if you have or know of a kid who is a superstar football player but nothing higher than a 3rd grade education, I would send him to Ohio State. He will probably come home with a cool tattoo.
My advice to Mike Montgomery. Stop with all the extra phone calls to possible recruits. That got Cal 2 years probation in basketball. If you pay them and fix their grades, you may be allowed to win a national championship. According to Jim Tressel, and not Charlie Sheen, that is when you'll become a winner.
"Wise Guy"
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
Asinine?!?!
I recently read that Ken Williams, the GM of the Chicago White Sox,told a sports network that paying 30 million per season for one player is "asinine." Ken said that if the owner gave him 30 million to spend on one player, he would not do it. I would spend that money on players, not just one player. That would be the smart move if your name was Billy Beane, but it's not! Your name is Ken Williams. I will tell you what is asinine. How about spending 27 million a year for the next 4 years on two guys named Konerko and Dunn. Yes, one is past his prime and the other strikes out more than a fat kid at a cheerleader camp.
Asinine? How about your manager, Ozzie Guillen. He is the Milton Bradley of MLB managers. Asinine? How about your owner, Jerry Reinsdorf, breaking up the Chicago Bulls right after they won their 6th title.
Asinine? How about paying a movie star 20 million for one crappy mover after another. Asinine is paying Ryan Seacrest 15 million to do whatever it is he does.
Someone is going to make 30 million a year and asinine would be if it is anyone other than Albert Pujols, a three-time MVP just hitting his prime. Asinine is the fact that A-Rod has been paid 33 million each of the last two years.
Maybe the fact that I'm doing this post is asinine!
"Wise Guy"
Asinine? How about your manager, Ozzie Guillen. He is the Milton Bradley of MLB managers. Asinine? How about your owner, Jerry Reinsdorf, breaking up the Chicago Bulls right after they won their 6th title.
Asinine? How about paying a movie star 20 million for one crappy mover after another. Asinine is paying Ryan Seacrest 15 million to do whatever it is he does.
Someone is going to make 30 million a year and asinine would be if it is anyone other than Albert Pujols, a three-time MVP just hitting his prime. Asinine is the fact that A-Rod has been paid 33 million each of the last two years.
Maybe the fact that I'm doing this post is asinine!
"Wise Guy"
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
Cookie Monsters ...
Just like the 80's movie where a paperboy stalks John Cusack seeking the $2 that is owed him, I have been haunted by the same feeling that someone is following me for my money.
Austin must have the most drug stores per capita in the nation, maybe the world. They seem to be on every corner. There is always a different reason to stop by one. This is a good thing 11 months a year. It's the 12th month that gets me.
Case in point. I was headed to my sons' baseball practice last night, and right before we got to the fields my boys told me they needed sports drinks. No worries; there's a drug store right on the corner! As I pull into the parking lot, my car got really cold and the windows began to fog. I broke out in a cold sweat as I got out of the car. I could feel five sets of eyes looking at me. I kept my head down, and raced into the store. I made it! As I walked to the back of the store to get the drinks, I told myself the real test would be leaving the store, and getting to my car. There have been too many people that have tried and not made it, but I kept telling myself, "Today is my day, and I will make it."
I purchased the drinks, and waited for the right time to leave the store. Like a divine intervention, two elderly women were headed out. Here's the chance I'd been waiting for! I ducked behind the ladies, broke hard right, and started to run. Like something out of a Hitchcock movie, I felt like there wee birds chasing me. As I got to a clearing and saw my car, I pumped my fist in celebration. I made it! That's when I heard it. Like a salvo being fired overhead, "Sir, would you like to buy some Girl Scout cookies?"
Determined not to give up, I walked to the table and told the girls that I purchased 15 boxes of cookies and my wife told me if I bought another she would make me sleep outside, and I'm afraid of the dark. That's when the smallest and youngest girl said, "Sir, you don't have to buy anymore cookies. You can just donate the two dollars."
I told my boys they had to walk to practice, and I spent the next two hours helping the girls sell the cookies. You know the old saying, "If you can't beat 'em ..."
Wise Guy
Austin must have the most drug stores per capita in the nation, maybe the world. They seem to be on every corner. There is always a different reason to stop by one. This is a good thing 11 months a year. It's the 12th month that gets me.
Case in point. I was headed to my sons' baseball practice last night, and right before we got to the fields my boys told me they needed sports drinks. No worries; there's a drug store right on the corner! As I pull into the parking lot, my car got really cold and the windows began to fog. I broke out in a cold sweat as I got out of the car. I could feel five sets of eyes looking at me. I kept my head down, and raced into the store. I made it! As I walked to the back of the store to get the drinks, I told myself the real test would be leaving the store, and getting to my car. There have been too many people that have tried and not made it, but I kept telling myself, "Today is my day, and I will make it."
I purchased the drinks, and waited for the right time to leave the store. Like a divine intervention, two elderly women were headed out. Here's the chance I'd been waiting for! I ducked behind the ladies, broke hard right, and started to run. Like something out of a Hitchcock movie, I felt like there wee birds chasing me. As I got to a clearing and saw my car, I pumped my fist in celebration. I made it! That's when I heard it. Like a salvo being fired overhead, "Sir, would you like to buy some Girl Scout cookies?"
Determined not to give up, I walked to the table and told the girls that I purchased 15 boxes of cookies and my wife told me if I bought another she would make me sleep outside, and I'm afraid of the dark. That's when the smallest and youngest girl said, "Sir, you don't have to buy anymore cookies. You can just donate the two dollars."
I told my boys they had to walk to practice, and I spent the next two hours helping the girls sell the cookies. You know the old saying, "If you can't beat 'em ..."
Wise Guy
Friday, February 4, 2011
Ice Bowl II ... Texas Style!
It's been a great year, so here is a "Super" toast to all of you (or to the one guy who has clicked my blog a few thousand times), and the 12 people in China who follow me.
Ice Bowl II ... Texas Style!
Here we are in Green Bay, Wisconsin. The frozen tundra! Super Bowl XLV. Knoll vs. Lombardi, Star vs. Bradshaw, Harris vs. Hornung, Steel Curtain vs. ... Oops! Sorry everyone. I was playing Madden 2011 (the old-timer's game) with my boys and just got carried away.
Yes, it is Super Bowl XlV. We have the two most storied franchises not named the Dallas Cowboys. Steelers vs. Packers, who just happen to be playing at Cowboys Stadium.
Props to Jerry Jones. Who else besides PT Barnum could pull this off? The biggest story the past 2 weeks has not been anything about the participants, it's been the Dallas snow storm.
As I watch today's game, here are my top 10 questions:
1. Will Aaron Rodgers break the curse of the Cal QB in the Super Bowl (o-4)?
2. Will Clay Mathews be Head & Shoulders above Tory Palamalu?
3. Will we see a Packers fan wear string cheese on his head ... Reggae style cheese head?
4. Will we see the steel curtain or one that's titanium alloy?
5. Will Mr. Goodell be handing James Harris a check, or a fine after today's game?
6. By game's end, will a Bishop be bigger than a Pope?
7. Since Jerry owns everything in Dallas, will we see him on the side lines hugging players from the winning team?
8. If the Steelers win, why would they want a Lombardi trophy?
9. With an Aaron Rodgers victory, does Chico become the party capital once again?
10. Do you think the Niners and the Raiders would like a mulligan with their draft picks in 2005? Alex Smith #1, and Fabian Washington #23.
Two quotes I would love to hear after the game, but won't:
"Big Ben, you have just won the Super Bowl. What are going to do next?" Ben: "I'm going to star in the next edition of "Girls Gone Wild!"
"Aaron Rodgers, you have just won the Super Bowl. What are you going to do next?" Aaron: "I'm going back to Cal for my senior year!"
"Wise Guy"
Ice Bowl II ... Texas Style!
Here we are in Green Bay, Wisconsin. The frozen tundra! Super Bowl XLV. Knoll vs. Lombardi, Star vs. Bradshaw, Harris vs. Hornung, Steel Curtain vs. ... Oops! Sorry everyone. I was playing Madden 2011 (the old-timer's game) with my boys and just got carried away.
Yes, it is Super Bowl XlV. We have the two most storied franchises not named the Dallas Cowboys. Steelers vs. Packers, who just happen to be playing at Cowboys Stadium.
Props to Jerry Jones. Who else besides PT Barnum could pull this off? The biggest story the past 2 weeks has not been anything about the participants, it's been the Dallas snow storm.
As I watch today's game, here are my top 10 questions:
1. Will Aaron Rodgers break the curse of the Cal QB in the Super Bowl (o-4)?
2. Will Clay Mathews be Head & Shoulders above Tory Palamalu?
3. Will we see a Packers fan wear string cheese on his head ... Reggae style cheese head?
4. Will we see the steel curtain or one that's titanium alloy?
5. Will Mr. Goodell be handing James Harris a check, or a fine after today's game?
6. By game's end, will a Bishop be bigger than a Pope?
7. Since Jerry owns everything in Dallas, will we see him on the side lines hugging players from the winning team?
8. If the Steelers win, why would they want a Lombardi trophy?
9. With an Aaron Rodgers victory, does Chico become the party capital once again?
10. Do you think the Niners and the Raiders would like a mulligan with their draft picks in 2005? Alex Smith #1, and Fabian Washington #23.
Two quotes I would love to hear after the game, but won't:
"Big Ben, you have just won the Super Bowl. What are going to do next?" Ben: "I'm going to star in the next edition of "Girls Gone Wild!"
"Aaron Rodgers, you have just won the Super Bowl. What are you going to do next?" Aaron: "I'm going back to Cal for my senior year!"
"Wise Guy"
Sunday, January 23, 2011
Da Bear ...
Remembering the old Saturday Night Live skit, I dropped the "s". Why? I don't need to cheer for a whole roster of players, I just need to pull for one.
Which one? The only one that matters! I've been to Chicago a few times and I love the city, but I have never seen a bear outside of the city zoo. I imagine that bear came from out of state. Like the city zoo, I, too, will be cheering for a bear from out of state. This one just happens to be a golden one named Aaron.
So here is a pre-game toast to all you "Mike Ditka" drinking and "Refrigerator Perry" eating Chicago Bears fans. Enjoy it while it lasts, which should be around kick-off time. Aaron, I will have your toast here in Dallas. Welcome to Super Bowl XLV.
Oops, I forgot! There is another bear I missed. This one goes by the name of Desmond. As I put on my Cal hat for today's game, lets all yell out "Go Bears." Yes, the ones from Berkeley!
Wise Guy
Which one? The only one that matters! I've been to Chicago a few times and I love the city, but I have never seen a bear outside of the city zoo. I imagine that bear came from out of state. Like the city zoo, I, too, will be cheering for a bear from out of state. This one just happens to be a golden one named Aaron.
So here is a pre-game toast to all you "Mike Ditka" drinking and "Refrigerator Perry" eating Chicago Bears fans. Enjoy it while it lasts, which should be around kick-off time. Aaron, I will have your toast here in Dallas. Welcome to Super Bowl XLV.
Oops, I forgot! There is another bear I missed. This one goes by the name of Desmond. As I put on my Cal hat for today's game, lets all yell out "Go Bears." Yes, the ones from Berkeley!
Wise Guy
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