Hit & Run

Well, it's great to be back. Its been a crazy week and I've been feeling a little sick after eating some crow...Thank you, Bode Miller.

Let's get started with some quick hits from the past week.

Bode: The more things change, the more they stay the same. Welcome back, Bode! After winning the gold you miss the gate at your next three events!

Yevgeny: You lost! The fact that you're a mens figure skater should tell you something. After losing your gold to Lysacek, you came out and said that he is not a figure skater. He is just an ice dancer. Let me clue you in. To the other 6.5 billion people on this planet, those two sports are the same thing. Kettle calling the pot...

The Flying "Animal" or "Tomato": I know it is snowboarding, but was there one athlete that dominated their sport more than Shaun White in Vancouver? There are airplanes that fly over my house that don't get that much air.

Cat Fight: Lindsey & Julia, great job! Just think how much better you two could have been if you actually skied like teammates. I see a new "E" reality show...bikinis maybe?

"Un-Home" field Advantage: Chris Rudge, Head of the Canadian Olympic Committee, was quoted as saying that the reason the Canadian team started out so slow was all the pressure of competing in front of the home fans. Don't tell the Cavaliers this. They will have no chance of beating the Lakers in the finals.

Bronze performance was better than gold: Joannie Rochette's performance after her Mom passed away unexpectedly in Vancouver a few days before her event. That is the spirit of the Olympics we often see, but can't always explain.

Shani Davis: Thanks for not skating the team pursuit. I know you were upset about not being able to skate the 3-man pursuit as 1 person (Team Davis), but you cost us an easy gold!

Can't be explained: Hey Olympic Guys/Gals, why in the world would you show a sport (I use that term loosely) that the whole world makes fun of for what seemed like 24 hrs a day for 17 days on MSNBC? I would have told them to park that sport way out back behind that old shed on top of the compost heap!

Deja Vu: I think I said this before...Great hockey game. This is what playoff hockey should be like, without all the fighting. Canada was golden and I don't think anyone really thought team USA could beat them twice. A silver was great for a team that was not supposed to medal!

He said it: Mike Milbury, the Hockey announcer, described the pep talk that the German Coach, Uwe Krupp likely gave his team while they were getting rolled by the Canadians..."He's asking his guys to just basically be fire hydrants, and are getting peed on right now." He also called the Russian hockey style of play "Eurotrash"! This guy would be great for the NFL.

Golf: Speaking of trash, they just completed the Waste Management Open in Phoenix. Without Tiger, this should be the sponsor for all golf events because...it's garbage!

Genius: Tony LaRussa. Only Tony is smart enough to hire a hitting coach with a lifetime batting average about .260 for a guy, Albert Pujols, hitting .335. Hey coach, just tell the other players to copy "that guy"(Pujols).

Genius your not: Hey Mac, how dumb do you think we are? I just can't believe that you really took "roids" only because you had a cold.

Welcome back! Kobe, after missing what seemed like years, you returned to hit the game winner. One for the Thumb in 2010. Hey Kobe, can you pour a little of that in a glass for Peyton?

It's March not October! Why are my sports pages covered with stories from that Halloween(Orange & Black)team across the Bay? Yes! I know they don't play in October, but give a little more love to the 4-time "World Champion Oakland A's."


Cal Bear Fans (I'm included!): Just beat Stanfurd this coming Saturday and win the conference outright. See Cal football and you know what happens if you tie...no roses. I did not misspell that college in Palo Alto. That is how Bear fans spell it!

Last but not least, only 6 days til Spring (football) practice. Go Bears!!!

Look for the next post..."Top 10 things you didn't know about spring training!" later this week.

"Wise Guy"

Top 10 "Exhibition Sports" for London 2012

By request for those EA (Electronic Arts) guys in Texas...New Top 10!

It seems like the whole world is making fun of those world class athletes know as curlers. I've watch my wife & daughter spend hours trying to get their hair right...um...oh, sorry wrong type of curling. I've done some research and was given a secret list of exhibition sports being considered for the London Summer Olympics 2012 that would rival that of curling. This was given to me in confidence so please keep this in house.

Top 10:

10. Jax
9. Ring Around the Rosey
8. Bumper Pool
7. 4 Square
6. Musical chairs
5. Red Rover...You know: Red Rover, Red Rover send the Jamaican right over!
4. Hop Scotch
3. Paddle Ball...not the beach game! The Ball on a string game
2. Marco polo

And the # 1 sport being considered in London is...
(Drum roll please)

BEER PONG!

Honorable Mentions include Lawn Darts, Tag, Wall Ball, Air Hockey, Frisbee and Mexicali (drinking Game).

Hey! Smear the Queer is no longer politically acceptable and I can't believe some of you guys were thinking that. It is a game also known as "tackle the guy with the football".

Please feel free to add other games to this list and I'll pass it on to the IOC.

P.s. Why is there not a Mexican Curling team. Who else would know how to slide things on a wax floor and know how to sweep. Hey, Hey, Hey...I'm Mexican! I can say that.

"Wise Guy"

I just stepped on the soap box!

After watching a mixed bag of sports events over the 3-day weekend, I have decided to step up on my "Soap Box" and vent a little. Just a little, because the weather was so wonderful here in Sacramento that I seemed to find myself outdoors pretty much all weekend. That is where Tivo came in, and I'm just now catching up on the stuff I taped.

So lets get started!

The Olympics: I have a few bones to pick here

Why is it that the sports media (NBC) sensationalize every single accomplishment that an athlete achieves, warranted or not. Case in point Yoko Ono, oops! Anton Ohno wins a silver medal after what I think were about 8 skaters falling in front of him (I know it was only 2, but I'm sensationalizing here) with about 20 yards left in the race. I heard about 20 times how he now is the most decorated American male Winter Olympian with six medals (2 each -- gold, silver, and bronze). I don't know about you, but I think Eric Heiden is the most decorated athlete with 5 Gold Medals. Yes! He has 1 for the thumb. Hey all you Cowboy haters, he is the Dallas Cowboys of speed skating. Sorry Niner fans, I don't count that last one because Bone Head (Switzer) was our coach.

The same with Bode Miller, the Fran Tarkenton/Jim Kelly of downhill skiing. In Torino, he was favored to win 5 gold medals. He came home with only a hangover from all the partying he did. He just won the bronze to go with his 2 silver medals (2002), and once again he is the most decorated American downhill skier. Phil Mahre and Tommy Moe have a gold and a silver. I think a gold trumps any amount of silver and bronze.

And here's another beef I have. Hey, Bob Costas, how do you win the bronze medal? Is the athlete leading the whole way only to stop before the finish line and let 2 athletes pass him so he can win the bronze? No! You either WIN the gold, or you are LEFT with the silver and bronze. Do you think the Colts would say they won the silver and the Vikes/Jets won the bronze? And do you think the Vikes and the Bills would trade their 4 silver medals for just one gold (Super Bowl Champs)? Nuff said!

I watched the Minnesota vs. Indiana (college) football game...I mean the pairs figure skating. Why, you ask? My sons and I wanted to see the final of the Snowboard Cross so I had to watch the skating. Here's my beef. How is it that a skater can fall twice and stumble another time and score higher than the 3 to 4 skaters before her who did not fall? I could not figure this one out so I went to the one person who knows everything about anything (married guys know), my wife. I was told that even though those skaters fell, they had a more difficult program than those who didn't fall. It made perfect sense! Please don't tell the Minnesota Vikings who seem to dominate the Saints, but had a few falls (turn overs). I don't think the Saint fans could give back all those hangovers.

Speaking about I.U. Did the Norwegian curling team steal Bobby Knights' plaid sports coats and make pants out of them? I thought I saw some of them selling cotton candy before they competed. Another thing I saw was a Zamboni machine prepping the ice for Curling. Why? Isn't that what the Curlers do?

I saw some of the NBA exhibition game and that was pretty entertaining. That matador defense was on display. Sorry everyone...No Kobe, No All-Star game. My beef here is if you have the game at Cowboys stadium, why would you have the athletes do what cowboys do instead of what Dallas Cowboys do? You could have the All-Stars hang out at the white house (not in DC). They could visit all the Michael Irvin strip clubs. Drive in a car with Nate Newton carring 300 pounds of weed trying not to get pulled over, or going to Mexico with Jessica Simpson before the big game on Sunday. Hey, I'm a Cowboys fan so I can say this. If you say it, I will block you. The funniest line I heard all weekend was when Carmelo was asked if trying to rope a calf was difficult. He said, "I'm from DC...I see a rope and I run."

My last beef is Nascar: I'm not a fan nor pretend to be. But I know what lap and how many cars were in the wreck that knocked Danica out of the race Saturday. But I cannot tell you who won the Daytona 500 on Sunday. I think Nascar just opened a can of "Go Daddy."

Today is Ash Wednesday...the end of Mardi Gras/Super Bowl parties. The world's largest hangover begins!

Thanks everyone for allowing me to vent. It was either here on the post, or pay Lucy 5 Cents (Peanuts Cartoon).

"Sports Wiseguy"

Prayers for Nodar...

We all use sports as a diversion from our very busy, and at times, chaotic lives. We too often forget about all the sacrifices these athletes make in life, and in this case that sacrifice was life itself. My family's hearts and prayers go out to the family and friends of Nodar Kumaritashvili (luger) from the Country of Georgia. A 2010 Olympian!

Olympics start tonight and we are ready!!!

In just a few hours, the Vancouver 2010 Winter Olympics will take off like an Olympic ski jumper. Opening ceremonies will last about 4 1/2 hours, and I don't think my wonderful wife will make it through the end of the 1st day. She is a short track speed skater. My boys and I are in it for the long haul, and are like cross country skiers. Just like all the great athletes we'll see and the curlers, we have been training really hard. How, you ask? Well, we have been spending extra time on the couch these past few months, and have been channel surfing to help build our thumb dexterity so we can watch the 5 different channels covering the Olympics. We have been sprinting to the fridge and the bathroom during commercials. I have been spending extra time curling (sweeping and dusting). To help us get through those boring events like the biathlon, ice dancing, and men's figure skating, we have been watching the PGA tour without Tiger, the Cleveland Browns, and as many Big 10 football games as possible. We made it. I believe the last person to try this type of training was Rip Van Winkle, and after 20 years he is still sleeping.

Now, being like athletes we understand that sports is 90% mental and 50% physical according to an ancient wise man...Yogi Berra. We have been working on the mental part as well. To take from an old ABC show, the Wide World of Sports, we had the "Thrill of Victory" -- we were all on the New Orleans Saints' band wagon, and "The Agony of Defeat" -- as a Bay Area guy we had the A's and the train wrecks known as the Raiders and Warriors. We see the "Human Drama of Athletic Competition"
-- who looks better in the Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue, Lindsey Vonn or Clair Bidez!

So, if you happen to come over during the next 17 days and see me and my boys sitting in front of the boob tube with a table full of junk food, just remember...we trained for this!!!

I'm going to try to find something short & funny throughout the Olympics so check back often.

Next post: NBA All-Star Game

"Wise Guy"

The Big Easy?!?!

No! It wasn't Easy, but it was Big!!!

As the season was about to start back on September 13th, it seemed like the weight of a house fell on the Saints' losing ways. On that perfect Sunday afternoon in New Orleans, the Saints picked up and put on the ruby red (glass)slippers and began the journey down the yellow brick road with stops in 8 different cities that covered a span of 22 weeks. Just like in that other story they needed to show they had the brains, the heart, and the courage to take them to their Emerald City (Miami). They did not face any flying monkeys, but did go up against some Lions, Panthers, Eagles, and Bills (just to name a few animals). That journey took them past some Cowboys and Indians. They faced some Pirates, Vikings, and some clam chowder eating Patriots. There were even some Giants and Jets to overcome.

When they finally arrived in Miami there was just one obstacle that awaited them. You knew those Clydesdale horses must have seemed like Colts to the Saints as they lept over that final hurdle and made it to the top of the football world. The curtain was pulled back. There was no Mr. Wizard only Mr. Goodell, who handed them Mr. Lombardi.

Today, as the parade moves along the streets lined with about a quarter million people celebrating in the Big Easy, I know Drew Brees will be thinking "I'm not in Kansas anymore!"

New Orleans Saints 2010 Super Bowl champs!

Dreams do come true and yes, I am smiling!

"Wise Guy"

Top 10 pitchmen you won't see during Super Bowl

10. Jose Canseco for GNC stores.

9. Andre Agassi for Hair Club for Men.

8. John Day for Mothers Against Drunk Driving.

7. Plaxico Burress for Medical Alert (I shot myself and I can't get up.)

6. Charles Barkley for the Golf Channel.

5. Mike Vick for Animal Planet.

4. Jamarcus Russell for 24 Hour Fitness.

3. Bret Favre for The Waffle House restaurant chain.

2. Barry Bonds for E-Harmony.

1. Tiger Woods for Cialis.

Here's a "Pregame Toast": To a great game, time with family and friends and the hope that everyone makes it home safe...Go Saints/Colts

Cal's Final Recruiting Rankings

What a day for Cal recruiting.

Final ranking:

Rivals.com #11 (SI.com)
Max Preps #13 (CBS Sports)
Scouts Inc. #15 (ESPN)

Scouts.com #29 (Fox sports)They must of been drinking some strange Cool-Aid

Zach Maynard also signed and will play QB but is not listed in these ranking.

Cal picked up a Wr & LB that are transferring from Oregon state
and have a couple of Gray shirts coming in (players who signed last year but did not meet the entrance requirements). Now enrolled at Cal.

Look for something special in 2012 & I do not mean the end of the Mayan Calender!

Cal makes it to the Rose Bowl & the World Ends...Just my luck!

It's beginning to look a lot like Cal Christmas

This 1st part I put on FB last night...

As I head to bed with my Cal pj's it feels a lot like Christmas Eve. Tomorrow is Nation letter of Intent day for college football recruits. It will be like Christmas for the "Cal Football Nation" because the gifts (athletes) are under the Cal tree & even if you think you know what your getting there may be a few surprises. What makes it different from Christmas is that other schools can take your presents and put them under their tree. Stay Tuned!

Update this morning...

I woke up this morning and ran downstairs. I looked under the Cal tree and saw a bright shiny red bike, a Red Ryder Carbine-Action 200 air rifle with a compass, a new 360/PlayStation 3, an I-pad -- what else could a kid would want?

Cal, as of 11 am, has the 10th ranked class by Rivals.com, the #1 recruiting site in the nation. What is even more impressive is that Cal has the #1 and #5 defensive ends in the nation. They have 3 of the top 10 -- 1 more in the top 20 linebackers -- in the nation. Both ranked #1 in class. Cal signed the #1 safety who was a verbal to Alabama, plus added some pretty good corners. I think, without a doubt, the #1 def class in the nation.

What does all this mean? I don't know. I can shoot myself in the eye while riding my bike, and crash into the 360/Playstation 3. Everything broken, and I'm on the ground crying (see Cal quarterback situation the past 3 years). It could also mean that in the next few years I could be living my dream and heading down to Pasadena.

Now that would be the best Christmas of all!!!

PS: Look for the next post late tomorrow: Top 10 commercial pitchmen you won't see on Super Bowl Sunday.

Super Bowl Media Day - 10 quotes you should, but won't, hear this week in Miami

10. "I haven't seen this much talent in Miami since the 80's at the "U.""

9. Baltimore fans to Indy fans: "I didn't know that asses (donkeys) wore horseshoes."

8. Drew Brees to AJ Smith: "I was a Charger?" AJ Smith: "I traded you?"

7. Marvin Harrison to Gilbert Arenas: "I used one of those guns."

6. Norlans Mayor: "I AM smarter than a fifth grader."

5. Norlans fans: "It doesn't matter if you win or lose, but how you party for the game!"

4. "Pierre Garcon is a wide receiver and not a waiter down in the French Quarter."

3. "Katrina was a natural disaster and not a burlesque dancer who went to Vegas."

2. "Reggie Bush, you have just been named MVP of the Super Bowl, what are you going to do next?" "I'm going to...NOT marry Kim Kardashian."

1. "Peyton Manning, you were just named MVP of the Super Bowl, what are you going to do next?" "I'm going to...party with Tiger Woods!!!"