The end was near...

With the start of MLB season just a few days away, I thought this would be a perfect time to share this story. Most people do not know just how lucky I am to be writing this post. I have always been a happy-go-lucky guy. I've been blessed with great health, a great wife, kids, and friends. My life seems simple or ordinary. That would be a simple life for a sports nut, or looking back now, a sports wise guy.

I am going to share with you my brush with death. Yes, death. It happened back on Saturday, October 22, 2002. Events that would change my life and those in SF and Anaheim forever! I woke up that Saturday morning, and just like most Saturdays in the fall: Yard work, Cal football, and then getting ready for some buddies coming over in the evening to draft our fantasy basketball teams online with friends and family in the Bay. I remember telling my buddies that we will even put on the World Series ... LOL.

For the most part the day was uneventful. It was a warm fall day. Nothing strange or unusual that would tip me off about the events that were about to unfold that evening. I have talked to people that have had near death experiences. There is the one where a person leans forward to change a radio station and a stray bullet just misses hitting them in the head; the person who walks off a plane and finds out later the plane crashesl; or a car runs a red light and comes within a whisker of hitting the driver's side of the car. I had nothing like that. You see, I often thought whenever the good Lord decided it was my time, I would leave this earth and people would smile and say, "I thought he would leave in a manner like this." Let me explain.

That evening we began the draft right about the time the World Series started. The Giants were up 3 games to 2 over the Angels. I remembered my "rooting" pecking order for baseball. A's first, team in their division, American League, and then anyone playing against the Giants. I didn't give the game much thought. I knew the Angels would win Game 6 that night, and then Game 7 the next night. All would be right in the universe. Looking back, you might say that is exactly what happened. What you may not know is the events that unfolded during Game 6 that changed how I look at life today. Most of you either know, or have figured out just reading my blog, how much I loathe the Giants. Most who know me have heard me say, "Not in My Lifetime!"
The Giants will not win the World Series while I walk on this earth. It is a statement that I believe to be true!

Now most fantasy drafts last about 3-4hours when you get about 12 guys together. Drafts often start slow -- you have guys drinking beer or spirits so you get duplicate picks -- and there is a lot of trash talking throughout the process. This draft finished right about the time the game ended.

Things seem to be moving right along with the draft and the game until the top of the 5th. The Giants scored 3 to take a 3-0 lead. I felt a little uneasy, but I didn't worry too much. The top 6th and the 7th the Giants scored 1 run each to take a 5-0 lead going into the 7th inning stretch. Remembering what I said and how much I believe it to be true, I knew I was living on borrowed time. My heart began to race. I started feeling dizzy and I started to have body aches. I knew the Giants didn't have a Bill Buckner or the Angels a Bucky "%$^#" Dent or even Aaron Boone. I started to see a bright light coming toward me, and then I noticed this guy with a black hooded robe and a sickle in his hand. He was drinking all my beer. I knew that the "Rally Monkeys" seemed to have run out of magic. That is when I realized that I must take matters into my own hands if I wanted to keep living. I ran into my 2-yr-old son's room and grabbed a stuffed monkey and put it on my back. I became that monkey. I declared that because I was the monkey, the Angels would turn things around and win the game. My buddies laughed! One was a Giants fan and he just smiled. I looked at the hooded guy now eating all my food. He told me that soon I would not have to worry about having leftovers. I winked and said, "Maybe the Beatles are the walrus but I am the monkey!" I started to send out texts, one after another, that with each hit I was getting stronger. The Angels scored 3 runs in the 7th and the 8th to take a 6-5 lead. I was about the size of Kong when the game ended. The hooded man told me he had to leave, but promised to be back in about 60 years. I smiled and thought was I going to die of old age, or would that be the year the Giants finally win it all? Either way, I didn't care because I would have lived a long and fulling life and I wouldn't be here to witness the unspeakable! Game 7 went like most though, and I knew. John Lackey pitched the game of his life, the Angels won the Series. You now know it was not John or Dusty pulling Ortiz in game 6. It was a man who transformed himself into the real "Rally Monkey" that changed everything.

We live our lives trying to get the monkey off our backs and keep it off. I just want all you Giant fans to know ... I am the monkey that is on your Giants' backs and have no plans to come off anytime soon (52 more years).

As the 2010 season starts just remember: The Giants suck and I'm alive to tell you that.

Wise Guy

The Top 10: Fantasy Baseball Draft

As I get ready for our 17Th Annual Fantasy Baseball Draft, here is a list of the top 10 things I will hear tonight during our draft:

10. I will give you my 14th pick for your 1st pick ... you'll save salary!

9. I can't believe you took that player that early. I was going to take him 5 rounds later!

8. I did not know he retired/is injured and out for the season. My brother, (Terry Allen football), I'm still laughing 18 years later?!?!

7. Someone will say that the player is listed playing multiple positions in my wife's Sunset Magazine Fantasy Baseball Issue or insert any other off the wall publication.

6. I thought I had more salary available, I need to trade down.

5. I have to run a quick errand. I should be back before (insert a name here) finally makes his pick. ZZZZZZ!

4. What? I already have 5 pitchers ... owner picking a player that he does not need.

3. Anyone have an updated cheatsheet? I haven't been crossing out players picked and I need !

2. Last round: 5 or 6 guys saying, "I have the ultimate sleeper pick" Only Mr. Wise Guys' truly is Mr. Sleeper Pick)!

1. Every player after the draft ... On paper this is my year (exception Ry).

This not a Top 10, but once again I will remind everyone -- if it weren't for that $%#@ hurricane during the playoffs 2 years ago, I would have won my 5th title.


Wise Guy