Please don't feed the Bears ... was Yogi on the bus?

Hey, night club owner, if a motor coach pulls up in front of your club on a Monday night with 25 or so NFL players from your home town, and the first two guys off the bus are Brian Urlacher and Lance Briggs, please let them in. I don't know if you're aware that we are right in the middle of a recession. Who knows? If you take care of these guys you may get repeat business. There is a caveat. If that bus is carrying the Cincinnati Bengals, or you own a strip club and Pacman Jones is the first to walk off the bus, I suggest a "Closed for Remodeling" sign at the door.

Quick hits ...

I know that I don't give the Big 10 and 12 (soon to be 10) much love, but do you honestly think Michigan State and Missouri are the 5th and 6th best teams in the country? I know you're smarter than that, and will take the home dogs in both games.

Big Pac-10 game this weekend. No! Not the Cal/Oregon State game. The USC/Oregon game! Now just think if Petey were still at USC. Would this game be the battle of the undefeated and these teams currently be two, top five teams in the AP? Ducks win it late. Lane hasn't proven he can win a close one (see Stanfurd and Washington).

Speaking of Bears, Riley will return to form on the road and Cal will lose a close one. Yes! They lose on one of his picks.

The Giants are half-way there. Anyone know where I can purchase a Giants hat?

"Wise Guy"

A Giant Curse?

On the eve of what could be the greatest series ever played by the San Francisco Giants, are you wondering why it has taken 56 years? Are you wondering why such players as McCovey and Mays in 1962, Clark and Mitchel in 1989, and Bonds and Kent in 2002 were unable to do what this year's team is being asked to do? Exorcise the demon of being the bridesmaid, never the bride.

Unlike the Curse of the Bambino or that of the Billy Goat, could this curse be something as simple as a young boy who told a Giants fan, "Not in my lifetime!" Could it be that the Yankees and the A's were just too good, and there was something magical in all those "rally monkeys" in Anaheim?

Here we are in 2010, and once again the Giants are at the doorstep of immortality. Could that curse of the young boy creep up and once again bite the Giants? Could the Rangers stick another dagger in the hearts of Giants fans worldwide as the Rangers become the 20th different team to win the World Series since the Giants moved to San Francisco in 1958? Or, could this band of no name players and a kid pitcher named Timmy, finally break through and become that 20th team?

As a lifelong Giants hater and one who often said, "Not in my lifetime," I will make a declaration on this blog to honor those long gone Giants fans who never witnessed a San Francisco Giants World Championship. I will purchase and wear a Giants hat for 56 days if they do the unthinkable and I live to see another day. If the Rangers win, I will purchase a Rangers hat and smile knowing that it is now 57 and counting!

"Wise Guy"

The "Derrik Coleman" of the NFL

I have just labeled the Dallas Cowboys the "Derrik Coleman" of the NFL. You're probably asking yourself, "Wise Guy, what are you talking about?" Let me explain. After another loss on Sunday, most, if not all, of the experts on the many networks covering the NFL have said the same thing. The Cowboys are the most talented team in the NFL, and you can't write them off. Most of you NBA junkies know from the early 90's that Derrik was one of the most talented players in the NBA. More natural talent than Michael. He just didn't have the work ethic to live up to his potential. Now please tell me that is not the Dallas Cowboys. The "Wise Guy" has written the Cowboys off, and would personally drive out to Raleigh, North Carolina, and pick up Coach Cowher at season's end. Stay tuned ...

I was able to catch some of the Raiders/Niners game, and can honestly tell you I have seen more offense at a FIFA World Cup final. Now that I think about it, most of those soccer players had a higher QB rating than Jason Campbell. I heard the Raiders' fans were pretty well behaved. They realized that after many drinks, they performed like their QB. They could throw a punch, but wouldn't hit anything.

Just like the 90's, the Cowboys and Niners are battling for the top spot. Only this time, it's for last place.

"Wise Guy"

How does that saying go, "Death, taxes, and ...

Yes, Riley throwing a couple of picks. Another embarrassing loss for the Cal Bears. I know I wasn't the only one hoping the band would start the second half. They are better prepared, and probably tackle better. Until there is a change in our starting QB, I will spell Coach Tedfurd just like Cal fans spell Stanfurd.

USC, did you forget to bring that 118th ranked passing defense to Saturday's game. If you play the rest of the season like you played Saturday the conference is in big trouble, but I'm betting you remember where you put that defense and will lose big to the Oregon schools.

Ohio State fan, you really didn't think you were the best team in the country. You're not even the best team in the Big 10, and that is pretty funny!

SEC fan, you guys rock. Not! After crushing #1 ranked Alabama, South Carolina loses to that football power Kentucky!?!? Florida is playing like they're being coached by Keith Urban, not Urban Meyer. Good thing LSU scheduled a game against Mc Neese State and didn't have to win a third straight game because of a fluke. Has Georgia won this year?

Big 12 fan, Nebraska really showed its true colors by losing to Texas. Yes, that same Texas that got rolled by UCLA. Now you're trying to get me to drink the Oklahoma punch. The Sooners are the best team in college football just like my Bears are going to the Rose Bowl.

Last and least, Oregon Fan. Yes, you are the best team in the country but that is only until your parole officers leave town. And to the team that plays on the "Smurf Turf," this is a grown-up blog. You get no love!

Wise Guy

Life of Riley

Here we go again, another big game. My Bears are at a crossroads this weekend. A win over those hated Trojans of USC, and Cal is back in the hunt for the conference title. A loss and the Bears are back to another lackluster season we have all become accustomed to, and that "invite" to one of the many ... what "bowl" is that again?

What makes this game different from so many like it before is that it rests on the arm of Kevin Riley, or should I say feet? Yes, Riley has been in this position many times in his 4 years at Cal, but this is the first must-win game as the senior QB. Cal has two very good, if not great, WR's in Marvin Jones and Keenan Allen, and All Pac-10 TE Anthony Miller. Led by Shane Vereen, Cal has one of the best rushing teams in the nation. Throw in a defense ranked eighth in all of college football, and we have a team that is ready to challenge any team in the conference. Which takes us back to Riley, a QB that seems to have his worst days playing in what are supposed to be the biggest games of his career.

Riley's legacy -- or lack thereof -- will ride on tomorrow's outcome. So, for the moment, let's not look to next year where we seem to have a plethora of young QB's waiting for their opportunity, a team that should be a top 10 team, and a possible Rose Bowl birth. Let's all get behind Riley, and just maybe tomorrow will be the one time he wins one of those "biggest games" of his career, and parlays that into wins in the next two "biggest games" of his career against Oregon and Stanford. And maybe Christmas comes early this year.

Go Riley!!!

Wise Guy

The day after yesterday ...

Texas fan, that is how you put the screws to the Bruins. Hey Bruin fan, why bring a gun to a big game and not use it? Or was it that Bear defense that put a muzzle on that pistol offense? Another thing. Why, after you finally scored, did you play Cal's fight song? Get your own.

Hey Furd, I will never pull for you, but nice job beating that lame coach and his Trojans. Hey Trojan fan, how does it feel to be 1-2 in Pac-10 play? It's good to know that with Washington State you won't finish last!

Big road win for Oregon State; I'm getting that feeling that you're going to upset the Ducks and win the Pac-10. You heard it here first!

Hey Bama, nice job beating South Carolina! What? You didn't! Gotta love Spurrier. May I be the first to say, "Overrated"!

What can I say ... Yankees win the pennant! Theeeeee ... Yankees win the pennant! They didn't. Are you sure? Come talk to me in about a week or so. Oh yeah, number 28 is coming as well.

Last but not least. My apologies to the Texas Rangers. I did not mean to "jinx" you by jumping on your bandwagon. I am getting off now. Hey, it worked for the Saints!

Wise Guy

Timmy & Giants made me feel sick! A little college trash talk.

I know what you're thinking. But really, my heart started to race, and I started to break out in a cold sweat. I reached for that old "Rally Monkey," and I felt much better.

What more can I say. Timmy was just unbelievable last night -- 14 k's. That said, the Giants were one bad call from playing extra innings. Hey Brian, how about getting this team a bat for the middle of the line-up? Lincecum can only pitch every fourth/fifth day. God forbid you show your fans that you want to win something. That other team across the Bay has 4 rings ...

Hey Ranger fan, I'm sorry. I didn't think you guys had any chance against the Rays. You're now up 2-0 coming home to wrap it up. I am officially jumping on your wagon for the rest of the playoffs, or until you lose. My new "home" team. Go Rangers! Oh yeah, I hate the Yankees and the National League!

UCLA Fan, I hope Nueheisel is bringing more than a "pistol" to this game. The Bears are not Texas, and with Mikey Mo back and healthy, it's going to be a long day for your Prince-ess. Can you say KEEEENAN!!! Bears win big!!!

Speaking of UT -- Hey Mack, are you going to win another game this year? Is it me or do Kevin Riley and Garrett Gilbert play the same way? You tell me, they both worked with Jeff Tedford.

SC fan, don't you just love Lane? After that big loss last week he was quoted saying it will take up to five years to get them back to where they were under Pete. What's he going to say after losing to Stanfurd (Cal spelling)? I'm leaving for Tennessee.

Oregon over Bama for the National Championship.
Sorry Boise, No "smurf turf" in Glendale, AZ.

Wise Guy

Who says you can't go home ... Welcome Randy

You gotta love this soap opera of Randy Moss returning to the Vikings. Here he is, coming home because the Pats didn't want to pay him what he thinks he is worth. Yes! He is returning to a team that never wanted to pay him in the first place. Now, throw in an old QB, who probably would play better if they let him wear his Wrangler jeans, and fighting with his head coach about the offense once again. This makes as much sense as making Lindsay Lohan the Designated Driver.

Hey Reds, next time maybe you should use a tennis racquet ... you might hit something! I hear all the time how the National League is as good as the American League. Enough! There have been 2 no hitters pitched in the post season, both by American League pitchers throwing against National League teams. Before this season, where did Halladay pitch his whole career?

Texas Rangers ... I don't mind you proving me wrong. I never thought you had a chance. I just don't want those Giants doing the same!

Wise Guy

Back in the Saddle...

I wrote this about a month ago, but waited to post it until now. It will be the last of the old style posts for awhile. Look for the "The Sports Wise Guy" daily quick hits with what's happening in sports.


Yes! I'm Back in the Saddle.

Here I am in this great state of “Longhorns.” No! Not Texas, but Longhorns. In this State of Longhorns, there are, of course, Longhorns, and they seem to be everywhere: Stores, restaurants, hospitals, schools, parks, and just about anywhere you can image -- but I can’t seem to find a single one. I drove through half the State of Texas (9 hours) -- or should I say Longhorns -- and have lived here for about two weeks and have yet to see such a creature. I was told that they are partial to the color burnt orange.

Burnt Orange? Really? Does such a color exist? I pulled out my son's box of Crayola Crayons. This is the mega box which holds 128 of the most popular colors. There is a red/orange, yellow/orange, and even a shade that looked purple/orange, but not one labeled burnt orange. So here I am looking for an animal that doesn’t seem to exist, and is attracted to a color that hasn’t been invented.

I gave up, knowing there are things in life that can’t be explained. Then over the weekend I pulled up to some baseball fields where my boys were going to play in a tournament, and there was this very old man. If anyone would know where I could find a Longhorn, this would be the guy. He pointed to an area of about 100 people and said, ”there they are! Look over there!" I turned and saw another 50 people. He said, "More Longhorns!" Having been from California and remembering what Lou Gossett, Jr., said in “An Officer and a Gentleman" about only two things coming out of Texas ... ahhh, forget it! He smiled and told me that some day I might be a Longhorn. I winked and said, "That can’t happen because I am a Bear. Not just any Bear, but a California Golden Bear." I walked my boys to their new teams and they were given orangish/brown uniform shirts -- burnt orange, to be exact. Then the coaches smiled and said to my boys, "You're now Longhorns!" I turned back to look at the old man. He winked back, and left.

If you happen to be from Texas ... "Hook 'em Horns!” For the rest of us, “Go Bears!”

Wise Guy

PS ... Go Aggies!!!