World Cup Dream Team -- "Wise Guy" Style!

I have been watching about a week of World Cup games -- Ok, bits and pieces of games. I wondered what it would be like if the "Wise Guy" came up with a Dream Team. Yes, I spoke in the third person (Ricky is my favorite all-time baseball player.)

I would not pick the obvious ones in their prime that most soccer aficianados would use: Pele, Maradonna, Ronaldo, Baggio or any other Futbol superstar. I would use players from other (real) sports.

First, I would need a coach. After many hours...ok, minutes, I came up with the perfect coach. Lou Panella! "Why," you ask? Because if we scored a goal and the ref took it away, I would want Lou to storm the field, yelling and cussing at the official, then walk to the corner flag, pull it and fire it back at the ref. You know he would! Then he would walk to his side line and throw every ball, water bottle, and anything else he could find onto the field. I don't think they would rule against my team anymore. For this to happen once I would have the Oakland Raider D-Line. What other team in the last 10 years had more offsides calls against it than the Raiders?

I noticed all the flops, and I would need the world's greatest flopper of all time. Yes! Vlade. He would revolutionize the way soccer players flopped! If the wind changed directions, Valde would be on the ground.

With all of yellow and red cards, I would take a line shift with the Anaheim Ducks. No team in the NHL had more major penalties, and the third most minutes in the box. If one of these guys got a red card, I'm sure the player they hit would not wake up 'til next week.

Goalie? Who else would the "Wise Guy" put in the goal other than Ray Lewis (LB...Ravens). Do you actually think anyone would kick, throw, or even look at him while he is in the goal? I don't think so. I would not need defenders.

For throw-ins, I would use Stephen Strasburg. He would fire the ball down field about 102 mph. On the receiving end, no one other than Larry Fitzgerald. He would then pass it to Kobe who would dribble down and score a goal. In World Cup Soccer a single goal will win about 95% of the game, but you know Kobe would drop "40" on the French...30 on any of the favorites, but I hate the French!

With all these fine athletes I would need a trainer and conditioning coach. I would hire Bill Romanowski and Jose Canseco. My team would never have any down time, but they would be a little short in other areas.

I would have Reggie Bush as our travel director. We could stay in South Africa or any other World Cup city for 4 weeks, or years, without paying a cent out-of-pocket. Speaking of college football, I would hire Mack Brown as our team spokesman so he could whine and cry about our seeding and then lobby to change it. After the change I would fire him ... I really hate Mack Brown.

Cheerleaders ... yes! Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders for most of the games, and the Raiderettes for those matches against the English. I would fly the Black Hole in for that one. They would make the English hooligans look like Sally Field in the Flying Nun.

I would have my high school bud, Tony, BBQ for the team ... have you seen the pictures on Facebook? I'm getting hungry again!

And, finally, I would hire Lionel Richie to entertain my fans, the Brazilians. You know we would party "all night long." I'm now dancing!!!

World Cup Dream Team, "Wise Guy" Style!

Go Team USA! I'm still holding onto the bumper with my skateboard (bandwagon).